Appreciation
by Severus my hero
Summary: Ginny is unsure of her appearance and thinks she has turned into quote "a very wrinkled cow" but Harry has other ideas about the matter.


**Disclaimer: I do not own 'Harry Potter' or anything else that might seem familiar. **

**A/N: Here is another one short I had been working on. It is a teensy bit fluffy I suppose even though I tried very hard for it to not be so. Ah well, I hope you like it. Please do share your thoughts with me! Severus my hero**

The white silk curtains rustled in the night breeze, and somewhere in the attic an owl hooted to indicate its arrival. A forty year old Harry Potter was trying in vain to sleep but the next door neighbour's rambunctious dog seemed never to shut up. He tossed and turned cursing the wretched canine for its loud unceremonious barking.

"Harry," his wife Ginevra murmured from beside him.

"Hmm,"

"Are you still awake? What time is it?"

"I think it might be passed midnight." He said groggily wondering how he was supposed to cope with work in the morning if he went to the ministry in such a sleep deprived state. "Don't let me keep you up, Gin, go to sleep."

"Um hmm," she sighed heavily.

"What?" Harry said propping his head up with the help of his elbow in order to get a better look at his wife.

"Nothing," she said untruthfully. "Why do you ask?"

Harry did not answer but instead just raised his left eyebrow as if to say, "Isn't it obvious?"

For the past several months Ginny had been acting very strangely. Although she would appear happy and smiling most of the day it was at night that a layer of melancholy distress would form behind her warm chocolate eyes. That was not all though, whenever Harry tried to talk to her she would just sigh and say "nothing's wrong". An emotional barrier had formed between them, one which Harry could not cross alone and Ginny did not seem to be helping him overcome it. They did not talk as often as they used to in the past. Their whole life seemed to have become a mere routine. It was killing Harry inside. To say the least he missed his best friend.

As far as there sex life was concerned. It was as good as non-existent. Ginny just did not seem to want to do it anymore and although he did not care as much as he would have ten, twenty years ago it did bother him. Lying there watching Ginny look at him with those same sad eyes he wondered when did they become like this, so distant, so closed like two shells on the same beach but never really interacting.

Harry had always thought that love was like a current, like a river. It did not see where it went, it did not see which crop it fed, it did not care what landscapes it passed through or what marvels it would have destroyed with a mere flood as long as it kept on flowing. But now he was having his doubts, he thought that all a successful marriage required was a bag full of compromise, a heart full of love and a house full of patience. Right now all that seemed like nothing what so ever, because he and apparently Ginny had been nothing less than compromising, loving and patient. But still their marriage seemed to be at a dead end. Although there was a constant spring of love that gushed from his heart he felt constricted, his heart empty and his life colourless. May be Dumbledore was wrong that love could conquer all as it was failing miserably right now.

"What are you thinking?" Her voice was soft like linen and sweet like honey. He told her this once and she scrunched up her nose and said it was the corniest thing she had ever heard but then her face lit up with a smile she was holding back and the kisses that followed left his whole body numb.

"Too many things to put into words,"

She raised her eyebrows and looked at him inquisitively but he chose to remain enigmatically silent. He too wondered what was on her mind but did not ask her because there was no point in asking a question that he knew would be left unanswered.

"Ginny," he whispered her name as if to test whether it would sound like it used to wondering how that was possible when everything associated with it had changed so drastically.

"Ginevra," he took a deep breath and ran his free hand through his ever unruly hair. He did not notice how Ginny's eyes followed the path of his hand longingly, full of need, love, desperation and misery.

"What?"

He seemed to be in a trance and shaken out of it he suddenly felt very self-conscious, a red blush creeping over his neck and cheeks.

"I…oh Ginny," Harry took a heavy but shaky breath as if a tonne of load lay on his chest.

"What is it, love?"

"What is wrong with us?"

"What makes you think anything is wrong?" Ginny was flustered, it was rather obvious she was either wary of this question or the answer that was about to follow.

"For starters the fact that you are hiding behind the duvet," Harry took her by surprise as usually he would just say "never mind." Harry had not meant to say that but it had been on his mind all this time. Ginny had been somehow infected with this horrible habit of pulling their coverings all the way up to her collar bone no matter how hot or cold the weather got. He just couldn't help but thinking she was hiding from him.

"I am not hiding behind anything!" She seemed outraged at the notion but at the same time there was a hint of a blush on her cheeks that confirmed Harry's suspicions.

"Really?" Harry used his free hand to push the duvet away but Ginny instinctively pulled it further up so that it was up to her chin.

"Not hiding, of course." Sarcasm was dripping from Harry's tone of voice.

"I…"

"Yes?"

"Erm…"

"Ginny? There is the other thing: you have closed out on me. It's eating me alive, to see you all sad," when Ginny made a move to interrupt him he raised his hand to stop her and although Ginny would not have taken this from anyone else normally she closed her mouth. "It's eating me alive, to see you all sad and not even know what is wrong. Ginny I miss you, I mean you're right here and I miss you."

Ginny suddenly became very interested in tracing the patterns on the covers. Her face seemed flushed with either embarrassment or guilt, Harry couldn't make up his mind which. Perhaps, it was a bit of both.

"I…"

She looked up to meet his green eyes that sparkled so brilliantly that she really felt as if emeralds were embedded in them. There was a small smile on his lips that encouraged her to go on but she changed her mind and sighed dejectedly.

"I think it's really late and we should really go to sleep." She made to turn but Harry gently wrapped his strong arms around her waist from under the duvet. Ginny almost jumped at his touch and tried to wriggle free, it made Harry very confused and he couldn't help but feel a twinge of concern and frustration in his heart.

"Ginny, what's wrong?" He almost pleaded, hurt evident in his eyes: it melted Ginny's resolve to bury her miserable thoughts away.

She seemed to be debating whether or not to tell him how she really felt and Harry did not interrupt her thoughts. Finally she took a deep breath and let herself ease into his embrace. He tucked a stray lock of her coppery hair behind her ear and whispered softly in it,

"What's wrong?"

"I… Do," she took another deep breath and finally blurted it out, "Doyoustillfindmeattractive?"

"I am sorry I did not catch that,"

"Do you…I mean…Do…be completely honest with me Harry, ok?" Harry nodded and suddenly Ginny realised she did not want him to be completely honest if his answer was in the negative. Seeing her depressed and frustrated expression Harry kissed her brow, enjoying the feel of her soft skin against his lips.

"Do you still find me attractive?" It was less of a question and more of a whispered plea and Harry couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Ginny? Is that all? Did you honestly think I stopped finding you attractive?"

"I don't know, yes I guess. I mean just look at me I am completely repulsive!" At this Harry's smile faded and Ginny's lips began to quiver slightly.

"Ginny?" Harry's tone of pity and sympathy was really too much for her and the tears in her eyes brimmed.

"I won't blame you if you do," her voice was so quiet and shaky that it made Harry feel as if he was holding the most fragile creature in his arms, she had changed so much.

"What ever makes you think that? I could never find you unattractive let alone repulsive, no one could." He was stroking her long thick hair which was tied back in a messy braid. He never liked it when she tied her hair; he liked it free and spread out like a fan so he began to gently undo it.

She snorted at his reply but he noticed that the flow of her tears had ceased. Harry lifted her chin with his thumb and index finger and cupped her cheeks looking straight into her eyes.

"Ginny I don't know why you have started to feel like this but I swear I will always love you no matter what!"

"It's not your love that I'm questioning," Ginny's comment made him start and he couldn't help but feel a bit confused.

"I…" It was obvious that she thought what ever she was going to say was very stupid but at the same time she couldn't help but feel it. In Harry's opinion whatever it was that was occupying her thoughts and whatever it was that was coming in between them could be anything but stupid so he pressed on.

"Yes?"

"I… I've got wrinkles all over the place and loose skin and not to mention the extra fat and…"

"That's why you have not been eating properly? You think you are fat?" Harry couldn't believe his ears.

"You would too if you saw my arse!" She snapped without thinking but the moment it was out of her mouth she knew she had made a mistake.

"It is not my fault that I have not been up to date with your anatomy," he sounded absolutely serious but Ginny knew him well enough to be able to distinguish a hint of mischief in his tone. Her cheeks began to colour.

He brought his mouth close to her ear and whispered, "If you think you have got good reason to think you are anything less than absolutely the most beautiful woman in the world than you'll have to present some form of evidence." Ginny suddenly felt as if the air around her had started to heat up or perhaps it was just her own skin which was on fire.

Harry began to move his hand down from her cheeks to her neck and slowly almost painfully slid the duvet off of her. Ginny felt as if she couldn't breathe, as if she was in a sauna and someone had just turned the temperature up to a dangerous level. Despite her modest white nightgown Ginny felt naked under his gaze, she wanted to cover herself but somehow their duvet had just……_vanished?_

Harry's hand was lightly resting on her hip but it seemed to her she could feel every single cell on his skin through the silk. He shifted them so that she was under him with their legs intertwined. Ginny was biting her lower lip feeling trapped but then again she couldn't help but feel a little pleased too when she saw Harry looking at it with need and longing and perhaps a little _lust?_

"You think you are repulsive?" His voice was husky and his green eyes never left the sight of her full rosy lips. It was less of a question and more of a challenge. She wanted to nod an affirmative but her head felt like a heavy lump of metal. His eyes travelled up her face to meet hers and his hand began to trace the contours of her lush lips. She felt her breath hitch.

"I mean just look at your lips, their worthy of a ballad," coming out of anyone's mouth at any other time it would have sounded very banal but in that moment hearing Harry say such a thing in such a way made her want to just melt. He softly placed a chaste kiss on her mouth, the contact lasting only a second. She wanted to groan out in displeasure when he broke the kiss before it had even begun but she held it back.

Ginny felt as if her whole body had suddenly become overly sensitive to his touch. It seemed as if the mere contact between them made her skin blaze with desire. She wanted to lash out, pin him to the bed and just let go of all thoughts and feelings, to let the whole world fade away, to let it be just him and her joined together in a millennia old dance but she could not bare to see disappointment in his eyes when he saw how unfavourably her body had transformed to look like that of very wrinkled cow.

"And your eyes," he kissed the corner of her right one, "they are like two blazing stars. And your hair…" he sighed twirling a lock of it and bringing it near to take in its sweet heavenly scent. "It's reminds me of sunshine, roses and……and just everything happy."

The foolish grin on his face as he muttered these words made him look a bit intoxicated. It reminded Ginny of how once when he had called her Gin she had wondered out aloud that wasn't it a form of alcohol and he had just grinned at her and said, "Why else do you think I call you that? A bout of you is stronger than all the fire-whisky in the world." She had rolled her eyes then but today she reckoned: perhaps he hadn't been just saying that, maybe that was really how he felt. The thought made her sigh with something close to contentment.

"And your skin, oh dear, dear God, your skin." His hand was moving from her cheeks to her neck and back, his touch making her shiver. "It's so soft that sometimes I feel it will just melt away like butter." _She_ felt like she _would_ melt if he kept on touching her like that.

He dipped his head and started placing small hungry kisses along her neckline, tasting her as if she was a drug he was addicted to and had been deprived of for a long time. Ginny closed her eyes realising how much she had missed the slight roughness of his palms against her skin, how much she had wanted his lips all over her. She just couldn't help herself and let out an involuntary moan of pleasure but simultaneously she entangled her fingers in his hair and pulled his head away from her neck.

Unabashed Harry found the buttons on her nightgown and slowly began to unfasten them one by one. Ginny was confused as to what she wanted, on one hand she missed being with her husband in this way so much she wanted to rip the nightgown off herself but on the other the shame she felt at what lay beneath the silk fabric made her want to slap his hands away, throw him off of her, curl up into to ball and pretend to sleep.

She felt the gown being slipped off gently from her shoulders and Harry's lips kissing her softly. She knew exactly what he was doing and he knew she did. He had loved how her freckles grazed almost every part of her body but the ones on her shoulders somehow gained his attention most. When Harry found the sensitive spot on her neck all coherent thought left her mind and she ground her full hips against his lean pelvis. That was enough encouragement as far as Harry was concerned and his hands slowly slid her gown completely off throwing the offending piece of clothing on to the floor somewhere.

"Did I ever tell you what you taste like?" He was slightly out of breath.

"No," Ginny barely managed to whisper out.

"It's bitter sweet with a pinch of salt." He began to manoeuvre his way down sucking and licking on her blazing skin.

"I love it," he growled in a voice full of passion.

Ginny's whole body was shaking with desire but concurrently her mind screamed at her to cover herself so she did the only thing she could and folded her arm on chest and tried to bring her legs up but they were trapped between Harry's. He gently but firmly took her wrists into his hands and pulled them away from what she thought was a horrible sight of her sagging breasts. Harry's eyes roamed her body and she felt a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Ginny, you're still as beautiful as you were if not more. Why do you think I would ever think any less of you?" He asked with a voice full of distress.

Ginny had no idea how to respond to such a question so she just brought her fingers up to his messy hair and pulled him down onto her neck, which Harry readily nipped at. She let out a sigh and mumbled something incomprehensible.

Harry kissed his way down towards her chest, while his hands stroked the back of her thigh slowly bringing her leg around his waist acknowledging the presence of the wrinkles that had taken shape under her knees. He stroked the soft skin several times relishing in the feeling of it and simultaneously trying to convey to his wife that her insecurities were baseless.

When Harry's lips reached Ginny's stomach she let out a noise that was somewhere between a pleasurable moan and a horrified protest. Having been pregnant three times Ginny's stomach had lost its youthful taut and slim look. Slight folds of loose skin were distinguishable and the more Ginny looked at them the more depressed she became. However Harry smiled when he felt them under his lips.

"Don't feel bad Ginny, they remind me that all this is real. Every change reminds me that all this is real: you, James, Albus and Lily. Sometimes I wonder whether I am really living this life or is it just an awfully phenomenal dream that my desperate mind has conjured up. But you know when ever I look at _my family" _he breathed out those words as if they were sacred "I wish that it is all real or I pray that I should never be disturbed from such a sweet slumber in case that it isn't."

"Harry that is really……"

"Trite, I know but that is how I feel, I can't help it." He resumed to kiss the skin on her stomach softly again but Ginny pulled his face up so that his eyes could meet hers.

"Actually I was going to say sweet," she whispered. "I know I have been distant lately despite the fact that I knew it was going to hurt you and I am sorry about that but that's it isn't: I too couldn't help feeling the way I did. But I suppose it is arguable that I should have talked to you about it. I am very sorry, Harry but I just can't help feeling anguished when I look at myself…"

Harry cut across her with a soft whisper, "Then start looking at yourself with my eyes rather than yours because from where I stand there is no one and nothing more beautiful than you."

"You are just saying that because you have to bear me all your life."

"No Gin, I don't _have to_ do anything. I learnt that a long time ago. I am saying that because I _mean it_ and I am living with you because I _want to._" Although Harry's argument was firm, his voice remained gentle and soothing washing away all the frustration from Ginny.

Ginny face showed at the same time two very strange emotions: resignation as well as relief. She couldn't help herself but pull Harry down into a searing kiss. She wanted to loose herself in him.

"I love you, and nothing is ever going to change that."

"I know, Harry. I love you too. More than you can imagine."

At that moment Harry felt another emotion stir within him that he realised had been missing from both within him and his wife and that was appreciation. If love were the tidal waves in the ocean then appreciation was perhaps the lunar gravity that provided both the driving force and guidance to the rushing torrents from one's heart. He hoped that he would never fail to appreciate what he had and neither fail to acknowledge it to his family exactly how much he cared about them.

"And Ginny you should know that although I might not admit this to you as often as I should but I truly value all that you have done for me and all these years that you have put up with me. Don't ever think that you can ever repulse me. I mean _ever_. Even when you grow into a barmy old woman who can hardly hear what I am saying to her or when you have so many wrinkles on your face that no one can tell where do your cheeks end and where does your jaw begin." Ginny swatted him lightly on his upper arm and let the few tears that had formed in her eyes fall.

"That's just because you would be so blind and deaf yourself that you wouldn't be able to see me properly or hear anything I have to say either."

"Precisely," Ginny chuckled, "but we will still have each other and that is what really matters in the end." Hearing this she kissed him full on the mouth as she finally gave in to her desires feeling for the first time after months of misery and anguish the self confidence that her younger self was known for.


End file.
